We Wear the Mask (after Paul Laurence Dunbar) by China Doll

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We wear the mask that is heavy, but so trustworthy, we hold on

We wear the mask put together with love, loss, and complex feelings

My mask is pretty, and cracked around the edges

Scraping my skin when I smile and laugh

But I want to tell you the backstory

Have you ever felt a weighted blanket of incomplete memories lay on you?

I hold near and dear memories of people

Who left too soon

Ive played in parks that were wiped away and remodeled

I’ve ran down school hallways that were given away

Grief has this way of leaving me jaded

By reminding me of memories I won’t be able to finish or revisit.

I got used to my mask

Now I’m grieving what’s alive too

Turning away from things I used to do

Did you know that grief isn't limited to what’s gone?

Grief can cause you to internalize and hold on

Now there’s a chip on my shoulder

I blame myself for all my pain

I’m tugging at my mask

Because I can’t stand the rain

My insides have transformed, but my mask still looks the same

I’m cynical, and only opening my heart up in intervals

So focused on success that I lost sight of my mental, physical and spiritual

Internalizing is destructive

I guess grief really got them hands

But why does healing take her time?

Something I fail to understand

But one day I woke up and said

I’m more than this narrative

It’s imperative that I go within

Before grief had the upper hand

I was my very best friend

I wear the mask that cracked when I remembered how to dance

Leaving my shadows in a trance

I planted a seed in the ground and promised to eat the fruits

I made art and magic that avenged my youth

I’m finding my way outta darkness without a clue

I had to let my mask break because the cracks were starting to make me bleed

I’m a wounded healer crawling to water to drink

I’m bathing in water that soothes the agony

Sinking in relief

Finally letting go

And thanking the angels that are no longer here with me

Don’t you wanna bathe in relief too?

Don’t you wanna peel this blanket off of you?

Don’t you wanna let go of the extra weight and feel the numbness escape you?

Sometimes we drown in ourselves before the final straw

And serendipity saves us, leaving me in awe 

I wanna know that we all can feel relief

I am my brother and sisters keeper

Grief isn't as powerful as us when we come together

We wear the mask that dances to the music of life

And cries until we have enough water to fill our cups

We can take off our masks together or break them

Watching the pieces form a beautiful mosaic in the earth

Get rid of your mask with me

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China Doll is a multidisciplinary artist from Chicago’s South Side, using their voice, movement,
and writing to illuminate the complexities of the Black queer experience. Drawing from personal
emotion and lived realities, their work is bold, earthy, and deeply honest. Whether through poetry,
music, or dance, China Doll refuses to be confined by genre or expectation. Their art embraces
vulnerability, challenges shame, and transforms everyday struggles into creative, resonant
expression. Keep an eye on China Doll as they continue turning raw experience into powerful,
transformative work.